How am I supposed to perform academia if I don’t have time to Tweet?!?

One of the problems with committing to a new public-facing medium is that you get busy and overwhelmed and it suddenly feels abandoned. Two days since I posted here and my instinct is to just quit. The endless scroll is the problem. It’s always hungry and it’s never sated. As meager contributor, even I’m susceptible. When the dust settles and the archaeologists of the future dig through the radioactive waste, our archive will be nothing but “sorry I haven’t posted” posts and Tumblr.

In case of a “weird pipe mishap”…

My latest work order: “The pipes in Office 003 are making the strangest noise. It’s not consistent, but if I can capture it on my phone, I will. Normally there’s a gurgle here and a hiss there, but this sounds like something out of this world. I would like to not be the victim of some weird pipe mishap. Granted, as I’m writing this, the sound seems to have stopped. Suspicious.”