A willing suspension for quiet relief

For the second time in my PhD career, I’m taking a leave of absence for the spring semester. The moment I made the decision I immediately felt relief.

If there’s one constant in the six years—holy crap has it really been six years— that I’ve been trying to get this degree it’s that my parents are getting older and their medical needs are increasing. I have a collection of used hospital passes and I’m starting to recognize the staff at the gift store.

I definitely miss teaching. This fall I’m “on fellowship” in order to work on my dissertation, but due to the aforementioned medical issues my dissertation has taken a back burner. Every day that I do something that’s not my dissertation, I feel stress and guilt. My advisors are very supportive and I am extremely lucky to have them.

If there’s anything I’ve learned, it’s that change comes out you fast. In the second week of my second semester teaching, I received a text message from my mother saying that there was a fire at the house. Thankfully, it was contained to the furnace, but by the end of the day we were in a hotel trying to figure out what happens next.

Recently I saw two starkly different examples of how to live a life. I think we have two choices as we move through time: we can choose to face backward or face forward. W

hen we face backward, we’re constantly re-examining our life and seeing things that should’ve gone differently. It means we don’t see what’s up ahead. We just worry about it. We stumble and fall because we never direct our way forward. We have to blame somebody for the fact that we’re all turned around.

Or, we can look straight ahead, satisfied with who we are, knowing that everything behind us is:

1) responsible for our current satisfied self, and

B) behind us!

So I’m taking a semester off to focus on family and myself to prevent burnout, to prevent myself from turning around and looking backwards and wondering how I messed up.

I decide which way is forward.

I decide how I get there.

I made the mistake of adding tech feeds to my RSS reader and now I’m just mad all the time.

As I’ve reinstated my tech RSS feeds, I find myself getting more and more suspicious about the proliferation of AI.

There was a time, back in the 00s or so, when I kept up to date on a lot of tech news. I spent the time trying to follow trends in web development and mobile technology and apps. It was important to my work, but part of my overall interest in how the Internet was being integrated into our daily lives.

Once I moved away from tech focused work and into education, I let those news feeds go. I purged myself of latest developments and relied on larger, mainstream news outlets to inform me about the technology that would impact my daily life. Yet, as I started teaching first-year composition, I realized (we all realized) that being up-to-date on the technology our students were using (not always by choice either) would make our discussions surrounding critical thinking that much more relevant. Trust me, when ChatGPT burst on to the scene, I suggested we lean into it, teaching it as a new tool that students can use in their ever increasing arsenal of technological apps that can help them… wait. Help them what exactly? What was I supposed to be teaching them? More on that in a moment.

As I’ve reinstated my tech RSS feeds, I find myself getting more and more suspicious about the proliferation of AI. While I’ve not been totally receptive to the computerization of our automobiles, nor the subscription model of everything, I still want to be able to glean the direction personal technology is headed, and, if Microsoft’s recent announcements are any indication, the future is AI.

If you follow my links of interest at all, you can see where this is going?

Who wants this? Why are we being told that we want this? Every time I read about another AI-enhanced laptop or an app that’s I’ve been using suddenly wants me to incorporate their AI model into my workflow, I get frustrated.

If I’m not building up the critical skills to summarize an article (and most public-facing articles are woefully short and simplistic already), what am I doing with the time AI is saving?

What’s the point of learning discernment and curation if I never skip over Google’s AI-created search summaries at the top of its results page? (Shouldn’t have made Google suck, yeah?)

How am I supposed to teach critical thinking skills if all the little ways in which we think every day are being eaten up by language learning models that have dubious bias built in and don’t have an understanding of a ham sandwich outside the fact that sometimes it’s mentioned next to mustard?

More and more I feel like we’re heading into a direction where we will teach two ways of existing cognitively in our technological future: 1) a way to prompt AI to yield results that save us from doing labor or gaining mastery; and 2) a way to avoid the AI altogether and create bare bones text and art in a way that hides it from the upcoming singular cloud. Both feel exhausting.

Meanwhile, a bunch of narcissistic shitheads are at the controls of the future.

My commute is killing me, maybe

I talk to myself. Not just muttering, but full on conversations with, well, no one. If you could listen in, it would sound like I was talking to someone, because I pause and react and laugh and the invisible person in my passenger seat.

Literally, according to any health article from the early 00s through 2010s. We all are sitting too much due to the transfer of our work from moving to sitting. We work longer hours and drive farther to reach those jobs. And since sitting is the new smoking, and I quit smoking (nearly six years now), then all of that was for naught since I’m driving an hour each way to campus.

To be fair, I enjoy this time, this relaxing death drive into oblivion (apparently). I listen to podcasts or Kpop. Sometimes I play one of the lo-fi hip hop channels as I drive under the canopy of trees that line the back roads. Many times I don’t listen to anything at all and just ride to school or to home in silence.

Well, that’s not exactly true.

I wrote a couple of poems on the way home one day. I pulled over in a church parking lot to dictate them into my phone. This happens a lot when I don’t listen to anything in the car. Writing is something that my brain does automatically, sort of. I always have a part of my mind that’s narrating what I’m doing, what I’m feeling, shuffling around what I’m thinking. I’ve noticed in all the times I’ve had long commutes, that the writing part of my brain really lights up when the muscle memory kicks in and the ride is smooth.

This is one of the best parts about my commute and I know where all the safe places to pull over are in every stretch of road.

But those silences are also potential pitfalls. I’m not sure if it’s the ADHD, or the only child, but I talk to myself. Not just muttering, but full on conversations with, well, no one. If you could listen in, it would sound like I was talking to someone, because I pause and react and laugh and the invisible person in my passenger seat.

I know what you’re thinking (maybe), but it’s not an exercise in rehashing conversations, or arguing where I’m always right. I am often wrong. I am wrong a lot. In fact, it’s kind of weird how often I discover I’m wrong when the only person I’m talking to is me.

What I am is basically doing is journaling. I’m doing the “writing is thinking” without being able to use my hands. If I could trust my phone not too lock half way through a monologue, I would record my voice with the intention of transcribing when I got home.

I would never transcribe it though.

Exhibit A

It’s best that some of these conversations stay in the stale-coffee smell of Big Red (my car.) Some of those are big releases of frustration and some of them are vile, mean, mostly focused at myself. I know that I am purging negative thoughts this way before I come into contact with anyone else, but I think that sometimes the release isn’t 100% complete.

There is residue, like old crumbs woven into the seat upholstery. Those feelings I don’t write down, not with any depth linger, and I wonder if I need to pull off into that church parking lot and disgorge.

A note: I have done this kind of talking to myself for as long as I have memory. I have heard anecdotes of my imaginary friend (David from Sesame Street, if you need to know) and my conversations in my childhood room. This is one of the ways I process the world. It has always felt a bit strange, but also a bit real. My mind feels realer in these moments than when I’m being a proper person.

Anyway, I don’t think that too much introspection is good for us. I think there are benefits to being a bit unaware of yourself. Self-awareness should always be powered on when you realize you’re being hurtful, or negative, or if you feel that the universe has it out for you (it does not, sorry.) But I think switching that awareness off is best when you’re with (good) friends, or enjoying your hobbies, or laughing. Never be aware of your laughter. Projectile laugh all over the place.

When I originally came up with this idea for a post, I think I had a different plan. I think I wanted to talk about the time that it takes away from my responsibilities, or the fact that taking a walking break halfway is logistically hard to do, since it just adds time to my commute. I don’t really remember what blog I wanted to write. But this is the one I wanted to write now.

AcaStack, or things I use to do the things

I want to describe the four main apps for my academic work, but I’m not the best academic and I may lead you astray with my pseudo-mastery.

There are no affiliate links here, just plain links. You can just give me cash if you like.

I had a colleague tell me she’s been using Research Rabbit ever since I showed it to her and others when I was still part of their academic writing group (I dropped out because I’m terrible at commitments. They are amazing.) I had no recollection of doing this, but apparently, I was good at it. I’ve only used it sparingly, knowing how easy it is to go down the Research Rabbit Hole and not get any writing done. I do recommend it for understanding what’s current in your area of research, or what some of the major papers are in your field. But, eventually, ya gotta get to the writing.

Eventually…I know.

We ended up talking about apps and I explained that trying out new systems and apps to keep track of my academic work was one of my favorite ways of avoiding that academic work. I then listed out some systems I’d tried and, as I listened to myself, I thought, “you could write a bit of a post about this. That way, you’re procrastinating and writing.”

Here we are.

Browzine app

Our library system has a number of ways to access scholarly journals through their website and the multi-search function they recently added really cuts down some of that initial time looking for sources. Being able to see what we have in the physical catalogs and the electronic catalog helps me gauge how far afield I’ll have to look for scholarship. Google Scholar is the fallback when I’m looking for a particular journal article.

However, there are a number of journals that I’d like to keep up with, even if their articles aren’t relevant to my current projects. Enter Browzine’s app. I can add journals to my personal library and I’ll get a notification every time they have a new issue. Sometimes the new articles are embargoed for a short-ish period (I’m looking at you, Rhetorical Society Quarterly and your eight-year delay), but you can access available articles and add them to your citation manager on your phone. I’ll sometimes do this after breakfast (it’s not that often because of the glacial pace of academic publishing) and it feeds my need to hoard PDFs, boosting the illusion that I’ll become a wide-reading academic.

Zotero

That citation manager is Zotero, at least for me. Our library has a deal? subscription? extortion racket? I don’t know, but I get free storage as a student, which I don’t use, but it’s there, and that’s nice. I have used EndNote, RefWorks, the stray Word doc that I messed up one time trying to do the alphabetical sort, a spreadsheet, and PaperPile. I would definitely recommend PaperPile, as it served me well though my master’s degree and thesis writing, but there was just one thing that Zotero could do that didn’t seem possible with PaperPile: related items.

Being able to link documents together allows me to remember why the heck I downloaded this PDF last week after eating my turkey bacon. “What was I thinkin…oh. Yes. It’s connected to that article I read about being a bat. Right!” This was the deal-maker between Zotero and I. Right now I leave all my citations “unfiled” and only add tags to loosely categorize. Because Zotero doesn’t use typical folders, but allows you to put your citation “in” a collection, I’m only sorting by projects I’m actually doing, not the full list of 12 projects that I will most certainly do someday down the road, just you wait, there will be so much project-making. My goodness. Zotero helps me stay real.

Obsidian

Through one plug-in, an add-on, and a custom template, I can seamlessly integrate my Zotero annotations into Obsidian, the software that lives on both of my computers and serves as my third brain. (My second is out of the country.) Obsidian gives you the interlinking capability of a wiki, with the plain-text (via Markdown) simplicity of…plain text. The files are stored on your hard drive, but can be synced to the cloud in any number of ways that I’m not sure how to do because as I was reading the instructions, my credit card jumped out of my wallet and signed me up for the relatively low cost syncing service.

Obsidian, the software (the musical hasn’t been announced yet) is free and minimal and, to be transparent, I’m writing in it right now. I used to be exclusively a Google Docs user and while I have no illusions about its usefulness or its snoopiness, the ever-so-slight, barely noticeable lag that happens when you type online annoyed the bejeesus out of me. ADHD allows me to notice things that other people miss and it makes life a never-ending search for that weird ticking sound. You hear that? It’s not me, right?

There is a LOT to something as simple as Obsidian and plug-ins expand its usefulness into the stratosphere, or Maine, I don’t know geography. It’s overwhelming and cool and I recommend you search the YouTubes for an introduction if you’re interested. I will link a good playlist here. As a final note, I used to use Notion, but I found setting up Notion more fun than using Notion. I also think that’s common. Writing in Obsidian is like writing in Notepad; like a slip-n-slide on an early August day.

InoReader

It’s still too soon to talk about the 2013 shut down of Google Reader. As the single most useful web app I’ve ever used, I still remember the pain in the pit of my stomach when I learned Google was killing my darling. That’s not an exaggeration like the rest of this blog. I felt like I was being dumped by the best, most golden-retrieverish boyfriend in the whole world. It hurt that much.
Then for years I used Feedly to follow RSS (Really Simple Syndication) feeds from all over the web, from news sites to blogs. I had a single space to catch up with what I think is important, save items for later, and easily share them. Feedly is fine, but I needed a change. That’s why I switched to InoReader, I guess.

Is it better than Feedly? I’m not sure. I don’t have a good reason other than whim for why I switched, but I was also paring down how many news feeds I followed (ten to two) and minimizing how much I needed to track and focusing on what I wanted to track. (This all happened last summer during the Great Month of Disengagement, which is for another time).

I scan through the headlines and star what I want to read in full. Then, anything I want to read more deeply or, if I feel it’s something that I’d like to use in class, I’ll transfer that to Zotero, make a PDF of the web page, highlight and annontate, then import into Obsidian. Now I’ll have the link, a PDF version of the page, my annotations, all put together in a note that I can access and link in my third brain. It’s quite the slick process in action. It only seems excessive when I have to spell it out for you.


So, that’s what I’m using right now, mostly. I still have a ton of stuff scattered around, but I’m slowly getting things moved into Obsidian and adding the most useful notes to my library. I don’t think I’ll be switching away from this anytime soon, because this short stack seems to make the transition between researching and writing easy. I feel more motivated to write knowing that I’m adding my own words to this knowledge base, and that’s pretty nifty.

Let me know what apps have made you the star academic I know you are. Actually, don’t. I may stop what I’m doing and go try them out, because if you’re using them, they must be really good and if there’s even half a chance it’s slightly better than what I’m using, I want to make sure that I fully transfer everything into that new system and see for myself.

Help.

The Writing Side Dish

This is the first in a series called “How’s the Writing Going,” an attempt to make more of my research public, for the betterment of my wordsmithing and the possibility of feedback. Thanks to Brooke for asking me this very question every time she sees me, sending me into a panic.

This is the first in a series called “How’s the Writing Going,” an attempt to make more of my research public, for the betterment of my wordsmithing and the possibility of feedback. Thanks to Brooke for asking me this very question every time she sees me, sending me into a panic.

When talking with two of my colleagues this week, I confessed that one of the ways I try to stay on track with my writing is to have a side project that I can turn to that actually helps me with the main project. My main project is the dissertation and my side project is reading about academic writing. I didn’t mention whether this was successful or not–I have long-standing issues with motivation and procrastination–but at the very least, when I’m not doing my academic writing, I am writing about academic writing, academically.

Obligatory Pimp My Ride joke.

Today, faced with clarifying the last few questions on my dissertation proposal–the proposal that I need to get ready now–I started reading an article about why there is so little writing instruction at the graduate level. The article by Laura R. Micciche and Allison D. Carr is from 2011, but in the XX years I’ve been slogging toward the PhD, this is still a bit of an oversight in graduate education.

In “Toward Graduate-Level Writing Instruction,” Micciche traces the history of graduate writing instruction while suggesting that our current practices–assuming students learn by modeling the work they’re reading–is not enough to develop them into successful scholars.

Carr, one of the students from her writing class, adds commentary and insight into the insecurities and emotion graduate students bring to each writing project and how having a structured focus on graduate writing not only allows them to add their voice to the larger academic conversation, but reinforces the idea that academic writing is not something once learned, but part of an ongoing project.

“It’s no secret,” Micciche explains, “that graduate students (much like faculty) regularly encounter academic writing as an emotionally fraught, privately experienced hardship” (479). In the last few years I’ve found my academic writing to be an isolating experience.

During Covid, there would be more opportunities to write with friends via Zoom than in recent semesters. We’re busier and more protective of our time off, so getting together isn’t as convenient as facing the screen. Even before we went remote, life circumstances and a long commute pushed me away from the typical bonding experience of writing seminar papers with my peers.

When I finally made it to my comprehensive exams, the written portion was produced in the solitude of my basement campus office, right before the fall semester. I still haven’t gone back to read what I wrote. I shudder to think of it.

To be fair: I’m not one to reread anything once I’ve submitted. Once I release it to another set of eyes, I’m done with it. It makes me willing to kill all my darlings. I am pretty chill with editorial suggestions as well, even if I’m not quick about it.

It does give me the false impression that I don’t need to revise. I know I need to revise, but I would rather revise with outside feedback. Just tell me what doesn’t work. I enjoy writing and while I have some satisfaction after I’ve written something, it’s nothing compared to the feeling when the fingers are moving on the keys. (Like right now, this is pretty cool. Clickety-clickety.) But after I’m done, it feels like someone else composed the text. It’s as if I wrote it in a fugue.

This makes revising a challenge, especially for the dissertation proposal. I have no idea what I was thinking when I initially wrote those lines, and now I need to clarify something that, for all I know, came to me in a dream.

This was once revealed to me in a dream footnote.

Training in graduate writing could have helped me develop a writing practice and given me some tools to flourish–or at least produce–in that solitary environment, and quite possibly, removed a bit of the impostor syndrome that makes graduate students think they don’t have what it takes to enter the larger academic conversation.

When I told my dissertation advisor that I didn’t think I had the right to write about my topic, she just flat out told me, “Yes you do.” Okay then. That’s that.

Finding the time to write around family obligations and teaching is another skill that I’ve yet to fully develop. While everyone’s situation is a bit different, I think there’s room in the graduate curriculum to address these challenges. We spend time teaching graduate students how to be teachers–to the advantage of the university that uses them for labor–but we need to spend time teaching them how to be scholars.

Producing scholarship is a necessity in the higher-ed job environment and students should be developing the skills necessary to advance their field. The more contingent faculty that appear in scholarly journals, the harder it will be to ignore their value as experts in their respective fields. The uncertainty of a post-graduate career, the pressures to perform in class, and the outside obligations most of us face, it’s no wonder graduate students approach the empty page with apprehension.

One of Micciche’s graduate students had the opposite issue. In class discussions with other graduate writers, she would “recognize the paralysis, the inner critic who stifled first drafts, and [her] tendency toward the entropy of procrastination rather than face the terror of generating and clarifying an idea” (480). My first drafts, previously, have (just) gotten me to this level of academic work, but with the dissertation looming, this is no longer the case.

And I’m looking forward to it.

Micciche and Carr’s scholarship is one of a number of articles and books that I’ve been reading instead of working on the diss (aka Project Space Cats), and in the interest of making my writing and my research clear and public, I’ll be sharing more here in the future. It will feel less like procrasti-learning if I actually make something of it.

If there’s an article about academic writing, particularly graduate writing, that you think I’d be interested in, let me know. I’m just starting my dissertation and there’s plenty more task avoidance to do.

Source: Micciche, Laura R., and Allison D. Carr. “Toward Graduate-Level Writing Instruction.” College Composition and Communication, vol. 62, no. 3, 2011, pp. 477–501. JSTOR, https://www.jstor.org/stable/27917909.

The plight of the digital hoarder

Reading Charlie Warzel’s latest article in The Atlantic brought up one of those situations that I’ve had in the back of my mind. You know the one that sometimes rears up and says “halloo” and you’re like, “Yes, that’s something I should do something about, or consider more thoughtfully,” right before you’re distracted with taxes or cats or something much more important to the present moment.

My digital inventory is something I’ve been thinking about for a while. I have so many files saved in so many places, it really is a roadmap to my 30+ years online. I have a couple of external hard drives and all of the computers I’ve owned since 2002, just waiting to be scavenged. I can’t tell you what I’ve got saved there, and that’s the problem.

I have my entire thesis, notes, PDFs, and versions saved on Google Drive. My dissertation is moving into the folder next door. I have a ton of audiobooks saved on a red Western Digital Passbook that doesn’t like to keep ahold of its cord. There’s an old laptop that may have some embarrassing chat logs saved on it (not embarrassing to me, but still). And a host of other cloud accounts that have pieces of me scattered through the Intarwebs.

This is the first step to having a functioning teleporter: the atomizing of a human life, one jpeg at a time.

My life runs on a semester schedule, so there may be some time available this summer (while dissertation writing) to make a start on curating and culling this unwieldy collection. I think it would be interesting to go through every file, every photo, every stray bit and byte that makes up a good chunk of who I’ve built myself to be. So many little corners of the internet hold the me-equivalent of that stray 2×4, a half-full can of primer, and some brass bracket from the 1950s. I may need that GIF one day.

Without children to burden with my digital legacy (my nephew would be the only one I’d trust, and I like him too much to make him go through my “SORT THIS SHIT” folders), I often wonder who am I saving all of this stuff for? Did that snippet of a poem from 2011 really mean something to me, or is it just one step on the path to becoming a mediocre writer? I have twenty photos of a stapler from my old writing center because I thought it would be funny to give it its own Facebook page. (It was funny, for a while, but then I forgot about it.)

If I really think about it, I’ve saved all of this, every last byte, for me and for right now. Perhaps, instead of waiting for circumstance to bring the borders of my life into clearer view, I should take this opportunity to “sort this shit” now and keep only what is a reflection of who I was, and who I aim to become. Perhaps, I will make a multimodal journal of my life so far.

I just thought of this now, writing this post (because writing is thinking, friends) and this could be a nice project for this blog.

What am I even doing anymore?

I haven’t had an idea for a post in a while. I’ve been writing, not necessarily the things I’m supposed to be writing, but writing nonetheless. I have a year’s worth of short bits in my journal that have given me a new outlook on my life.

I don’t change much, really.

I think that it’s hard to see a whole year unless you’ve chronicled it in some way, whether in a scrapbook a bullet journal, or even your photo albums on your phone. Without that easy avenue to look back, you’ll never leave the path you’ve been on for, well, your whole life.

By having a link that forces me to see what I wrote on this day last year, I can spend a moment lamenting over how the obstacles and complaints are still the same and that, whether by my own fear or others’ handiwork, I have not moved forward as much as I’d like. Alas, reflection is not always a positive experience, but it is always useful.

Diss-combobulated

I am supposed to be writing the revision of my dissertation proposal, but I am a bit lacking in the motivation department. I even set up an appointment with my diss chair to get me moving and, maybe when it is imminent (as in that day) I will finally get something workable on the page. I would like to not be like this. I don’t think it’s fair to me or my chair.

How much do you want to hear about this journey? I wonder if it would be helpful to future Ph.D.s to hear about my experience. I know I found a lot of advice online (for reasons) and wouldn’t have made it this far without it.

However, it’s not a path I would recommend to most. It is not necessarily healthy, mentally or physically, and the rigor of the work is largely performative. There are small movements, particularly in the humanities, of making the PhD process more a communal practice instead of an individual struggle. They are slow though and largely rooted in the departments outside STEM.

This is my sixth year in the PhD program. I am a bit jaded now, which is why I wonder if it’s time to go. Not leave the program, but leave the fellowship, find full-time work doing…something…and finish the dissertation on the side.

I love working with students. I love reading their writing. Teaching, though, is changing and I’m not sure I want to change with it. I’ll talk more about that later.

For now, I think I will try to post more often and talk about school, my interests, and various things. I am not interested in creating a personal brand, though I am not completely against creating merch. (But I’ll probably forget to.)

Welp, I’m back

Sorry about the break. I really did think I could write a blog post about each day of the written portion of my comprehensive exams. Friends, I could not. I had no idea how much energy that was going to take out of me, including the one-hour commute each way. The day I wrote 5000 words, I slept the sleep of the dead. But, I’ve handed in my answers and it’s in the hands of my committee now.

How do I feel? Terrible. Well, not today. Over the last day or two I have settled down, but where I thought I would feel relief I only felt shame. I came out of the process feeling stupid, unprepared, more than an imposter, but a charlatan. I was (and kinda am) still thoroughly convinced that my oral exam will just be my committed expressing this disdain and then handing me packing boxes to clear my things and go. I was exhausted on Friday and cried. I blew up on Saturday morning and cried. Today, no crying, but still anxiety.

I’m going to stay as busy as possible this week so I don’t have time to think about anything negative. I will listen to every Agatha Christie book my library has and catch up on all my manga. Yah. That’s the plan.

Comp Exams Day 1 – the OS update

Note: This is Heather from the distant future. There was never a day 2, 3, 4, 5, or 6. Those days happened for my comprehensive exams, but not for the blog. When you’re writing between 2- and 5,000 words per day, the thought of another 400 just feels like too much. Straw, back, you get it. I passed, and that’s what mattered.

Thanks to the advocacy of previous graduate students, our school changed the structure of the English Ph.D. comprehensive exams from a 5-hour, in-person essay test to a take-home, multiday writing test. We still have questions that test the breadth and depth of our knowledge, but now we’ll be answering them in a way that more closely reflects how we actually do scholarly work.

Today I received my questions via email at 7 am. I was ready, so ready I forgot to take my pills. (I didn’t notice a difference aside from my disappointment, but I will not forget tomorrow). I took some time to read over all the options, made a few early selections, then grabbed a few relevant books (yes, I had to take the heavy one) and left.

I have a long commute, so it gave me the chance to let the back of my brain stew while I focused on my breathing. By the time I got to my office, I was ready to go. I took some time to create my draft documents, copy the selected question into the file, then do a preliminary–more like prepreprepreliminary–outline and listed out the texts/authors I would be using. Some of the questions were really interesting and I felt myself being pulled into working on them. Others I’d already written a thousand or more words about the topic. I chose the latter where I could.

That all done, I spent the next thirty minutes just going through papers and taking notes while my MacBook updated…

…then I was ready to go! The writing was sluggish at first. I felt myself tripping over how to phrase ideas and wrote too floridly and sometimes too simply, then convinced myself to get SOMETHING down because you can’t edit an empty page. I was aiming for 2400 words and I left at 1911. That’s not a failure.

I still had to finish grading the work in my summer class and needed to get the final papers out. But after getting that finished, I still ended up working on one of the other questions and getting more words in. Since this is a different format, the word count doesn’t really matter, but the hard work of selecting texts is done.

I think tomorrow will be a more productive day. I’ll be able to start writing right away, knowing I have minimaps in every draft document. I plan to come back to my DAY 1 answer tomorrow night, after I’ve allowed it to stew while I work on DAY 2’s answer. NIGHT 1’s answer has the bones to it, and I have a book here that can help me make sure I put them in the right spots.

Feeling optimistic and ready to keep rolling!